Thursday, 31 January 2013

Ghazal

it is over for me now tis time to rid
 myself of desire and turn my face away

disappontments and splendour i've had my fill
tired and weary of tears tis time for me to sail away

your beauty no longer touches me i have need
for something greater so from you i hide away

all eventually  pales and crumbles to dust
blinded by garish glare i fritter my life away

if only i had known - this wisdom comes
too late as i pack up my life and fly away
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16 comments:

  1. Semaphore31 January 2013 at 21:40

    While a few elements from the classical form may be absent, this is definitely more accomplished than many of the English language ghazals that I've seen. And such a thought-provoking theme you challenge yourself with here, a narrative of weariness and regret. Well carried out.

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  2. Cressida de Nova31 January 2013 at 21:59

    Such high praise from a first rank poet like yourself means a lot to me Semaphore. Thank you. This was my first ghazal.

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  3. Brian Miller1 February 2013 at 03:35

    far too often in the matters of the heart, this wisdom comes too late....rally nice how you linked them to tell your story as well...you did really well...

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  4. Mary1 February 2013 at 04:44

    I liked very much the flow of this ghazal from knowing that it is over until the decision to pack bags and sail away. You really used your theme well, built emotion in each stanza. Nice.

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  5. Anonymous1 February 2013 at 07:02

    The sense of regret in these lines is tangible. Maybe not a classical ghazal, but a beautifully crafted poem, nonetheless.

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  6. Cressida de Nova1 February 2013 at 07:38

    I am not familiar with ghazals so I will have to look into the structure of them. Thanks .

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  7. CV1 February 2013 at 09:32

    Wow! That is beautiful! I'm looking at an English ghazal first time.

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  8. Judy Roney1 February 2013 at 13:35

    Whew, this is really scary, the words and the fear I feel of someone flying away. Of course now I will look up the word ghazals and see exactly what it's about. :)

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  9. marousia1 February 2013 at 19:17

    love the use of the refrain 'away' - underneath the sadness of your words I picked up a strong longing... perfection

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  10. marousia1 February 2013 at 19:18

    I feel you have captured the spirit of a ghazal beautifully - so much regret and longing expressed in five couplet and each one can stand alone

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  11. Cressida de Nova1 February 2013 at 22:05

    again Marousia.

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  12. The Way of Dodo2 February 2013 at 10:11

    I thought a Gazelle was a small, swift running antelope. No? What is all this talk of "rhyming couplets and a refrain, with each line sharing the same meter?

    Anyways, a very sombre and insightful piece. Desire can be harder than heroine to kick.

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  13. Cressida de Nova2 February 2013 at 18:45

    Thank you for the visit Dodo...difficult for a non poet to fathom all the intricacies of a ghazal.

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