This really has the feel of an oriental piece--very sparse and deep, full of a sense of emotion under pressure, nothing over-stated, everything implied--it has the true tanka turn in it at the middle also. Loved it.
loved the presentation. i don't know if the music was supposed to go with the poem, but it was really nice and set the mood. the feeling of ur pen was strong like it was attached to ur heart. i sensed some hope, but ur words read final. like when u close ur eyes to someone they r closed.
This really has the feel of an oriental piece--very sparse and deep, full of a sense of emotion under pressure, nothing over-stated, everything implied--it has the true tanka turn in it at the middle also. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteLovely tanka! Filled with deep emotion.
ReplyDeleteloved the presentation. i don't know if the music was supposed to go with the poem, but it was really nice and set the mood. the feeling of ur pen was strong like it was attached to ur heart. i sensed some hope, but ur words read final. like when u close ur eyes to someone they r closed.
ReplyDeleteTempation denied. Very nicely done.
ReplyDeletelovely tanka..with deep sadness like a kimono around the writer
ReplyDeleteThis is a song beyond longing, the true lament of a broken heart; your words capture that in their depths. Well penned!
ReplyDeleteNice capture of longing and hurt...very lovely form ~
ReplyDelete